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USING A COMPUTER EVERY DAY CAN HAVE MORE NEGATIVE THAN POSITIVE EFFECTS ON YOUR CHILDREN 1. DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE? 2. REASONS FOR YOUR ANSWER WITH RELEVANT EXAMPLES

USING A COMPUTER EVERY DAY CAN HAVE MORE NEGATIVE THAN POSITIVE EFFECTS ON YOUR CHILDREN 1. 2. REASONS FOR YOUR ANSWER WITH RELEVANT EXAMPLES VBY76
Children have more negative effects of using the computer every day rather than gaining a positive from them. The increasing use of technology may have less benefit and cause more harm to the younger generation. I completely agree with this statement. This essay will discuss the reasons why and how modern technology can have debilitating effects on young minds. The continuous use of monitors can affect eyesight. With the advent of modern machines, computers have become one of the most widely used gadgets among the population in general. Computers are being used for everything including shopping, paying bills, entertainment, and study. They were once considered a luxury but now have become a necessity and are being used extensively throughout the day by everyone. The light which is constantly emitted from the screen can weaken the eyesight and cause vision problems. For example, It has been stated by a leading ophthalmologist Dr. Emma Stokes in her recent publication in April 2019 that increased screen time has been found to be one of the major causes of astigmatism in children. Therefore, the extensive and uninterrupted use of computers, especially by children, can affect their vision causing stigmatism which can lead to partial blindness. Furthermore, the use of the Internet on computers makes it easy for any child to access an unlimited amount of information. Advancements in Information Technology have led to the necessity of using the internet to access any kind of information by getting online. Children these days are constantly online playing games and watching random youtube videos. The pop-ups on the youtube videos, incite the young minds to watch inappropriate videos while the array of websites that open up with the click of a button can provide with a lot of misleading information on any topic of choice. For instance, recently I saw my younger sister drink sodas with every meal as she read online that sodas increase metabolism and thereby help to digest food faster. Therefore, the unlimited availability of information that the internet has given through computers can lead children astray without strict control and guidance. In conclusion, the use of technology by children not only causes vision problems but can also mislead them in many ways. In my opinion, the use of computers has many detrimental effects on children's mental and physical health unless they are allowed to be used under supervision by an older adult.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
have more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of using the computer every day
rather
than gaining a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
from them. The increasing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
may have less benefit and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
more harm to the younger generation. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement. This essay will discuss the reasons why and how modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can have debilitating effects on young minds.

The continuous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of monitors can affect eyesight. With the advent of modern machines, computers have become one of the most
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
gadgets among the population
in general
. Computers are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for everything including shopping, paying bills, entertainment, and study. They were once considered a luxury
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have become a necessity and are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
extensively
throughout the day by everyone. The light which is
constantly
emitted from the screen can weaken the eyesight and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
vision problems.
For example
, It has
been stated
by a leading ophthalmologist Dr. Emma Stokes in her recent publication in April 2019 that increased screen time has
been found
to be one of the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
of astigmatism in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Therefore
, the extensive and uninterrupted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computers,
especially
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, can affect their vision causing
Possible spelling mistake found.
stigmatism
which can lead to partial blindness.

Furthermore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the Internet on computers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it easy for any child to access an unlimited amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. Advancements in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
have led to the necessity of using the internet to access any kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
by getting online.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
these days are
constantly
online playing games and watching random
Possible spelling mistake found.
youtube
videos. The pop-ups on the
Possible spelling mistake found.
youtube
videos, incite the young minds to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
inappropriate videos while the array of websites that open up with the click of a button can provide with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
misleading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on any topic of choice.
For instance
, recently I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
my younger sister drink sodas with every meal as she read online that sodas increase metabolism and thereby
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to digest food faster.
Therefore
, the unlimited availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
that the internet has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
through computers can lead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
astray without strict control and guidance.

In conclusion
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
vision problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
can
also
mislead them in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways. In my opinion, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computers has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
detrimental effects on children's mental and physical health unless they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
under supervision by an older adult.
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IELTS essay USING A COMPUTER EVERY DAY CAN HAVE MORE NEGATIVE THAN POSITIVE EFFECTS ON YOUR CHILDREN 1. 2. REASONS FOR YOUR ANSWER WITH RELEVANT EXAMPLES

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
399 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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