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Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? LJb1
Tourism have always been a part of the entertainment in all across the globe. Nowadays, a major section of the society, try to visit the adventurous regions with extreme climatic conditions. This essay will discuss both the merits and demerits for the people traveling to these kind of high risk areas. There are numerous advantages for the tourists visiting the sporty areas. One such major benefit is that, the person becomes more self-reliant. This is because, visiting sporty areas can boost the confidence level. For instance, when an individual travel to any place filled with adventures like Himalayas, the person become more confident, as he had put up a tent for his own stay. Consequently, the persons will believe in themselves and can succeed in their life. Furthermore, persons can become a role model for the society, to take up a challenge. However, there are few disadvantages for visiting such adventurous places, over the advantages for the same. Visiting the sporty places can be a life threatening event. This is due to the fact that, many health issues can be developed when the person visit places with extreme climatic conditions and the emergency care cannot be met effectively. As a result, people may risk and sometimes loss their life. For example, when an individual with Asthma, visit high altitude area, he can develop breathing problem and when the immediate medical care is not provided it can result in his death. In conclusion, travelers have some difficulty in visiting places with extreme conditions, although the fun and the positive outcomes are noted much. The tourist has to visit such places with more precautionary measures.
Tourism have always been a part of the entertainment in all across the globe. Nowadays, a major section of the society, try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
the adventurous regions with extreme climatic conditions. This essay will discuss both the merits and demerits for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
traveling to
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
areas.

There are numerous advantages for the tourists visiting the sporty areas. One such major benefit is that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
becomes more self-reliant. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, visiting sporty areas can boost the confidence level.
For instance
, when
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "individual travel".
an individual travel
to any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
filled with adventures
A determiner is probably missing here: "like the Himalayas".
like Himalayas
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
become more confident, as he had put up a tent for his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
stay.
Consequently
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
will believe in themselves and can succeed in their life.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
can become a role model for the society, to take up a challenge.

However
, there are few disadvantages for visiting such adventurous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, over the advantages for the same. Visiting the sporty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
can be a life threatening
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
.
This is due to the fact that
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health issues can
be developed
when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
with extreme climatic conditions and the emergency care cannot
be met
effectively
.
As a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
loss their life.
For example
, when an individual with Asthma,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
high altitude area, he can develop breathing problem and when the immediate medical care is not provided it can result in his death.

In conclusion
, travelers have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
difficulty in visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
with extreme conditions, although the fun and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcomes
are noted
much. The tourist
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
with more precautionary measures.
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IELTS essay Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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