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Statement: Some people prefer to do physical activities to relax, while others choose mental activities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Statement: Some people prefer to do physical activities to relax, while others choose mental activities. g5Wo7
In modern time, stress, increasing rapidly among society because of huge change in lifestyle. Many people choose to do exercise for physical and mental fitness. In contrast, others choose the medication for relaxation. I firmly stand by the former view, It's better to give physical efforts than mind games. In this essay, we'll discuss relevant attributes for it. Starting with physical activities, such as gym, swimming and running, etc. Are the best way to be fit physically as well as mentally. In other words, It's necessary for brain and body to keep healthy by involving in fitness exercise. For Instance, Those who are attending the gym regularly get more sleep at night to others. As a result, peaceful sleep overcomes burden and provide refreshment for the mind. Additionally, It's helpful to build strong muscles and bones of the human. Furthermore, It's also giving joy while doing it by listening to music or dance activities like Jumba and Aerobics. On the other hand, Mental exercise like, Yoga can only help to decrease the stress mentally. However, It has nothing to do with a structure of the bones. For example, Yoga provides peace, but cannot make a person stronger and healthy, It'll create an unbalance between the psychic and physical state of the body. Therefore, even though the brain is in good condition, physical illness can kill the mental calmness. To conclude, while people may vary in their opinion, I feel that Physical exercises are more convenient to develop a calm brain and the healthy body to mental activities.
In modern time,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, increasing
rapidly
among society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of huge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in lifestyle.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
choose to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
fitness.
In contrast
, others choose the medication for relaxation. I
firmly
stand by the former view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
It's
better to give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
efforts than mind games. In this essay, we'll discuss relevant attributes for it.

Starting with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activities, such as gym, swimming and running, etc. Are the best way to
be fit
physically
as well
as mentally. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
It's
necessary for brain and body to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
healthy by involving in fitness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
.
For Instance
, Those who are attending the gym
regularly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more sleep at night to others.
As a result
, peaceful sleep overcomes burden and provide refreshment for the mind.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
It's
helpful to build strong muscles and bones of the human.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
It's
also
giving joy while doing it by listening to music or dance activities like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jumba
and Aerobics.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
like, Yoga can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to decrease the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
mentally.
However
, It has nothing to do with a structure of the bones.
For example
, Yoga provides peace,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a person stronger and healthy, It'll create an unbalance between the psychic and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
state of the body.
Therefore
,
even though
the brain is in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
condition,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
illness can kill the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
calmness.

To conclude
, while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may vary in their opinion, I feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
are more convenient to develop a calm brain and the healthy body to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
activities.
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IELTS essay Statement: Some people prefer to do physical activities to relax, while others choose mental activities.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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