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Some people think that all lawbreakers should be taken into prison, while others believe that there are better alternatives. Discuss two views and give your opinion.

Some people think that all lawbreakers should be taken into prison, while others believe that there are better alternatives. Discuss two views and give your opinion. gEK1
From the perspective of some people, lawbreakers should be taken into prison. While others have counterproductive views that there are better alternatives. I find the latter argument more convincing. On the one hand, it is harmful for society to fit their sniper by using the drawbacks of law. For example, a student killed his classmate in China in 2018 with cruelly treatment. People felt angry not only to the boy but also the law. The boy would be protected and didn’t have to undertake responsibilities because he was 13 years old according to the protecting law for child. When he killed person, he knew he would not lose his life. The origin of law is to help children defend harm and give them opportunities to correct themselves. But it also encouraged to crime. The boy only had to go to the special school under strict control. Maybe after 5 years, he can back to normal senior school to continue studying. However, the parents of girl lost their daughter forever. Lawbreakers should be into prison and be punished since their behaviors encourage to crime and make bad influential. On the other hand, we should respect law. Law equals to rule. Everybody have to abide by the rules. It is difficult to build law because regulations are discussed for many times. Before the rules were decided, everyone can give opinions. When the rules started to use, everyone should abide by the rules. It is challenge to not damage the rules in accident because it will harm the law’s authority, which can destroy the system of law even society life. In conclusion, we should discuss and correct the law regularly and make them to be better. Once the rules have been announced, everyone should abide by the law. In other aspects, lawbreakers help the law to be better. What they do always forces lawyers, judges and other people to update the law.
From the perspective of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, lawbreakers should
be taken
into prison.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
others have counterproductive views that there are better alternatives. I find the latter argument more convincing.

On the one hand, it is harmful for society to fit their sniper by using the drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
.
For example
, a student killed his classmate in China in 2018 with
cruelly
treatment.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
felt angry not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to the boy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
. The boy would
be protected
and didn’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
undertake responsibilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he was 13 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
according to the protecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
for child. When he killed person, he knew he would not lose his life. The origin of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
children defend harm and give them opportunities to correct themselves.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it
also
encouraged to crime. The boy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
had to go to the special school under strict control. Maybe after 5 years, he can back to normal senior school to continue studying.
However
, the parents of girl lost their daughter forever. Lawbreakers should be into prison and
be punished
since their behaviors encourage to crime and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influential.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, we should respect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Law
equals to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rule
. Everybody
The pronoun 'Everybody' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
to abide by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
. It is difficult to build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
regulations
are discussed
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
were decided
, everyone can give opinions. When the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
, everyone should abide by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
. It is challenge to not damage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
in accident
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will harm the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law’s
authority, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the system of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
even society life.

In conclusion
, we should discuss and correct the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
regularly
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them to be better. Once the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
have
been announced
, everyone should abide by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
aspects, lawbreakers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
to be better. What they do always forces lawyers, judges and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to update the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that all lawbreakers should be taken into prison, while others believe that there are better alternatives. Discuss two views and give your opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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