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Some people think job satisfaction is more important than job security But others believe that people can not always enjoy their jobs and having a permanent job is more important Discuss both view and give your opinon

Some people think job satisfaction is more important than job security But others believe that people can not always enjoy their jobs and having a permanent job is more important Discuss both view and give your opinon x3V1
Nowadays, being an employee is one of the most fascinating thing for every individual. Many of employees like to do their job as their interest, other might be go permanent service option. In this essay, I will discuss the both points with relevant examples. To start with, every graduate needs a job to fulfill their expenses. Every employee likes to do job in their interested field and security with job, too. But, we all know life do not gives everything to everyone. In some cases, people do their job for satisfaction, as they know already that this profession will not give enough to them, they cony their work because of interest. Moreover, who likes their work can come with great outputs. Thus, satisfactory gives a hike to develop a economy to particular country. For example, every photographer knows that they have to struggle more to earn morn but, they worship with their work and in the end live happily without earning too much. To other part, major of the pupils want permanent job. This is a valid argument, although. Job security is key point every individual needs while they start their work. Everyone has to manage their expenditure and job security gives a license to stay calm with it. Furthermore, in some of case the consequences are dangerous and hard to accept because of effortless perfonce. For example, in my country, major of the pupil start off-field job just because of to earn more and most of the pupil do not stand with satisfied outcome. To conclude with, I opine that pupil needs both for their happy work life. But, if an individual has choose an option among these then they must go with interested jobs. It gives best output with satisfied lifestyle.
Nowadays, being an employee is one of the most fascinating thing for every individual.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of employees like to do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
as their interest, other might be go permanent service option. In this essay, I will discuss the both points with relevant examples. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, every graduate needs a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
to fulfill their expenses. Every employee likes to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in their interested field and security with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, too.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, we all know life do not
Did you mean "give"?
gives
everything to everyone. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
for satisfaction, as they know already that this profession will not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to them,
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'they'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
they cony
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of interest.
Moreover
, who likes their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with great outputs.
Thus
, satisfactory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
a hike to develop
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
economy to particular country.
For example
, every photographer knows that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
struggle more to earn morn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, they worship with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
happily
without earning too much. To other part, major of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
want permanent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. This is a valid argument, although.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Job
security is key point every individual needs while they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. Everyone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
manage their expenditure and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
security
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
a license to stay calm with it.
Furthermore
, in
Consider using "some case" or "some of the case".
some of case
the consequences are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to accept
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of effortless
Possible spelling mistake found.
perfonce
.
For example
, in my country, major of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupil
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
off-field
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of to earn more and most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupil
do not stand with satisfied outcome.
To conclude
with, I opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupil
needs both for their happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, if an individual has
Use past participle here: "chosen".
choose
an option among these then they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
interested
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. It
A determiner is probably missing here: "gives the best".
gives best
output with satisfied lifestyle.
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IELTS essay Some people think job satisfaction is more important than job security But others believe that people can not always enjoy their jobs and having a permanent job is more important Discuss both view and give your opinon

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
293 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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