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Some people think job satisfaction is more important than job security But others believe that people can not always enjoy their jobs and having a permanent job is more important Discuss both view and give your opinon

Some people think job satisfaction is more important than job security But others believe that people can not always enjoy their jobs and having a permanent job is more important Discuss both view and give your opinon j0Pp
Having a satisfied job is considered more significant than its security. While some claim that securing a permanent profession and life long financial status is of utmost importance. In my opinion, I think that job contentment and sense of satisfaction play a key role in healthy and productive life. On the one hand, it is undeniable that having a job which assures lifetime flow of money and sense of security offers a peaceful and stress free life. People with permanent jobs do not have to worry about financial issues as they can secure their present and future. For example, permanent employees can recieve bank loans for doing huge investments and able to invest money to earn more. In addition, people who are away from the tension of searching fixed job and saving money, can easily concentrate on other aspects of life such as they can follow their passion. Some people love to enjoy their hobbies of music, sports or travel around the world. Therefore, while doing permanent job, people can enjoy their life and remain financially secured and satisfied.
Having a satisfied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is considered
more significant than its security. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
claim that securing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
permanent
profession and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
long financial status is of utmost importance. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
contentment and sense of satisfaction play a key role in healthy and productive life.

On the one hand, it is undeniable that having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which assures lifetime flow of money and sense of security offers a peaceful and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
permanent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
worry about financial issues as they can secure their present and future.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
permanent
employees can
Possible spelling mistake found.
recieve
bank loans for doing huge investments and able to invest money to earn more.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are away from the tension of searching
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and saving money, can
easily
concentrate on other aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
such as they can follow their passion.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to enjoy their hobbies of music, sports or travel around the world.
Therefore
, while doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
permanent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can enjoy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and remain
financially
secured and satisfied.
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IELTS essay Some people think job satisfaction is more important than job security But others believe that people can not always enjoy their jobs and having a permanent job is more important Discuss both view and give your opinon

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
179 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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