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Some people believe that there are no compelling reasons for us to protect animal species from extinction as it occurs naturally. I personally disagree with this conviction and will support my argument in the essay below.

Some people believe that there are no compelling reasons for us to protect animal species from extinction as it occurs naturally. I personally disagree with this conviction and will support my argument in the essay below. 7aL9b
Some people assert that the extinction of animals is the result of evolution, therefore no actions are required to protect the endangered species. I strongly disagree with the statement, the mindless human activities such as deforestation, hunting, and pollution are responsible for the changes in ecological balance. To embark upon, humans are blessed with an intelligent mind, using which he can create, discover and invent, also, have the power to destroy, exploit and wipe out. Primarily, reckless cutting of trees for fulfilling the human needs results in the destruction of the natural habitat of wildlife birds and animals. Further, tress holds the capacity to bind the soil and are the sources of food and shelter for the flora and fauna, if we will demolish these sources then we will also eliminate their existence. For instance, a biological study has proven that the main cause of the extinction of various animals such as rhinoceros, white tigers, is the ruination of their natural habitat, that obligates them to navigate to different places which cause their elimination. Secondly, another crucial factor responsible for the demolition of wildlife is hunting and killing for the pursuit of fashion. In order to fulfil the demands of ever-growing industrialisation, the animals are hunted and killed for the extraction of their skin to make leather and removal of bones and teeth for making ornaments. To exemplify, according to a survey, an approximate one hundred camels are killed in Rajasthan quarterly to extract their skin for making bags. Finally, the exaggeration of polluted air and water is also creating difficulty for the survival of animals. Moreover, global warming has also affected the ecological balance as a result, there is a reduction in rainfall, melting of glaciers and changes in weather, which is posing a huge threat to wildlife. In conclusion, I admit that natural changes are responsible for the extinction of species, but these processes are the results of deforestation, poaching and pollution. Thus, it is the responsibility of mankind to make this world a better place to live in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
assert that the extinction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
of evolution,
therefore
no actions
are required
to protect the endangered species. I
strongly
disagree with the statement, the mindless human activities such as deforestation, hunting, and pollution are responsible for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in ecological balance.

To embark upon, humans
are blessed
with an intelligent mind, using which he can create, discover and invent,
also
, have the power to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
, exploit and wipe out.
Primarily
, reckless cutting of trees for fulfilling the human needs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
in the destruction of the natural habitat of wildlife birds and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
Further
, tress holds the capacity to bind the soil and are the sources of food and shelter for the flora and fauna, if we will demolish these sources then we will
also
eliminate their existence.
For instance
, a biological study has proven that the main cause of the extinction of various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
such as rhinoceros, white tigers, is the ruination of their natural habitat, that obligates them to navigate to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places which cause their elimination.

Secondly
, another crucial factor responsible for the demolition of wildlife is hunting and killing for the pursuit of fashion. In order to fulfil the demands of ever-growing
Possible spelling mistake. 'industrialisation' is British English.
industrialisation
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are hunted
and killed for the extraction of their skin to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
leather and removal of bones and teeth for making ornaments. To exemplify, according to a survey, an approximate one hundred camels
are killed
in Rajasthan quarterly to extract their skin for making bags.
Finally
, the exaggeration of polluted air and water is
also
creating difficulty for the survival of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
Moreover
, global warming has
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the ecological balance as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
, there is a reduction in rainfall, melting of glaciers and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in weather, which is posing a huge threat to wildlife.

In conclusion
, I admit that natural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
are responsible for the extinction of species,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
these processes are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
of deforestation, poaching and pollution.
Thus
, it is the responsibility of mankind to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
this world a better place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
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IELTS essay Some people believe that there are no compelling reasons for us to protect animal species from extinction as it occurs naturally. I personally disagree with this conviction and will support my argument in the essay below.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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