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Some people believe that schools should reward those students who show excellent academic performance while some believe that only the ones who show significant improvement in the grades should be rewarded. Discuss both the views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that schools should reward those students who show excellent academic performance while some believe that only the ones who show significant improvement in the grades should be rewarded. 6xpMr
For many decades education institutions have been encouraging students by rewarding them. Although some may argue that schools should only be rewarding school children who are excelling academically, I believe they should be doing the same for pupil who are improving. This essay will discuss both views of the statement. Students who are doing well academically need rewarding as it takes a lot of hard work and sacrifices to achieve high grades. For instance, a student replaces hanging out with friends and other leisure activities to study. This group of children is self-derived and therefore, need to be rewarded for putting in extra time and replacing relaxing to work harder. On the other hand, not all students do well academically. This is either because of other interests such as sports or learn differently. Most schools teach traditionally, while new generation schools are now taking a new approach. Take the UK for example, some schools are educating weaker students with a different approach which has led to improvement in grades and consequently, giving out certificates for students who put in the effort. Though this notion is motivating students to carry on working hard as their effort is working while not everyone is invested to change the traditional way of learning. To conclude, undoubtedly high scoring students do not need any motivation as they are self motivated, while underachievers do need motivation in the form of rewards to stay on the right path to success. I do believe, schools should investigate their way of teaching and use more visual tools for helping students.
For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
decades education institutions have been encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
by rewarding them. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be rewarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are excelling
academically
, I believe they should be doing the same for pupil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are improving. This essay will discuss both views of the statement.

Students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are doing well
academically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
rewarding as it takes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work and sacrifices to achieve high grades.
For instance
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
replaces hanging out with friends and other leisure activities to study. This group of children is self-derived and
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
be rewarded
for putting in extra time and replacing relaxing to work harder.

On the other hand
, not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do well
academically
. This is either
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of other interests such as sports or learn
differently
. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
teach
traditionally
, while new generation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
taking a new approach. Take the UK
for example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are educating weaker
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
approach which has led to improvement in grades and
consequently
, giving out certificates for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
put in the effort. Though this notion is motivating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to carry on working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
as their effort is working while not everyone
is invested
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the traditional way of learning.

To conclude
,
undoubtedly
high scoring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
any motivation as they are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self motivated
, while underachievers do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
motivation in the form of rewards to stay on the right path to success. I do believe,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should investigate their way of teaching and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more visual tools for helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that schools should reward those students who show excellent academic performance while some believe that only the ones who show significant improvement in the grades should be rewarded.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Some people believe that schools should reward those students who show excellent academic performance while some believe that only the ones who show significant improvement in the grades should be rewarded. Discuss both the views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.