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Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. lDKQ
Learning is key for children and it is commonly said that, their leisure time should be made useful by doing educational activities, otherwise children will waste their time. This essay disagree with this point of view because, children should participate in physical activities and and they should learn doing new things in their life. Physical activities are important for people of all ages, but is is important for children to make it a habit to be fit and active, which they will keep on doing when they gets older, otherwise it is always difficult to adopt this habit when they will grow up, where they will get busier in their lives. Fro example, I was not involved much in physical or sports activities in my childhood, and it has become almost impossible for me to spare time for my physical fitness. Another thing which children needs to do is to learn new things in their life, which enlightens their mind and it will help them to think out of the box, these things cab be of different types and creates a positive impact in their personalities. For instance, one can get use to of gardening; where they will learn how to grow plants, get knowledge about weather changes, learn ways of protecting their plants from pests, what type of soil is best suited for which vegetable or flower and distinguishes between summer and winter plants. In conclusion, there are ways in which children can spend their leisure time where they are able to invest their time and efforts in doing healthy activities and involved in performing tasks which will introduce them with doing things in different ways which can help children to think positively and provide them an opportunity to explore new ways of doing things.
Learning is key for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and it is
commonly
said that, their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
should
be made
useful by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
,
otherwise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will waste their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
The verb 'disagree' is plural. Did you mean: "This essay disagrees"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
This essay disagree
with this point of view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should participate in physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
and and
they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
If 'learn' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to do".
doing
new things in their life.

Physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of all ages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Possible typo: you repeated a word
is is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it a habit to
be fit
and active, which they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
when they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "get"
gets
older,
otherwise
it is always difficult to adopt this habit when they will grow up, where they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
busier in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Did you mean "for" or "from"?
Fro
example, I was not involved much in physical or sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in my childhood, and it has become almost impossible for me to spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for my physical fitness.

Another thing which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "need".
needs
to do is to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
new things in their life, which enlightens their mind and it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
out of the box, these things cab be of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types and creates a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact in their personalities.
For instance
, one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
to of gardening; where they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to grow plants,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
knowledge about weather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of protecting their plants from pests, what type of soil is best suited for which vegetable or flower and distinguishes between summer and winter plants.

In conclusion
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can spend their leisure
It is better to use 'time' with the time-relative pronoun 'when': "time when". (Alternatively, use 'in/on which')
time where
they are able to invest their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and efforts in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and involved in performing tasks which will introduce them with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
things in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
positively
and provide them an opportunity to explore new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
things.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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