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Parents have a greater influence on their children s future success than schools do Governments should therefore provide parenting training courses rather than teacher training courses Do you agree with this idea

Parents have a greater influence on their children s future success than schools do Governments should therefore provide parenting training courses rather than teacher training courses Do you agree with this idea 7a0Dn
The children’s future would be bright because of their parents rather than the schoolings. So the government should take necessary steps to coach the parents more than the schooling staffs. According to me, I totally agree with this point. In this essay, I shall explain my point of view by analyzing both sides of the argument. On the one hand, critics may point out that one of the most significant benefits of training given to the parents would help and mold the offspring in a good shape with safe to the home and the society. For example, the children should shine in the behavior with good attitudes but it could be possible because of the parents grew up them in a splendid way. On the other hand, in spite of these arguments, giving and focusing more only on teacher training courses rather than parenting training courses have negative consequences in various ways. Firstly, the teachers would always concentrate on academic portions and they printed very less on moral character. Secondly, they could not monitor all the children at a same time. Lastly, in my opinion, parents are more important than teachers to guide them a right path. Taking these points into consideration, from a personal perspective, without a shadow of a doubt, I conclude that the government bodies could more conscience on parenting training courses rather than teacher training courses would create a society with great concern of the children in a better future for themselves as well as the society.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
future would be bright
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
rather
than the
Possible spelling mistake found.
schoolings
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take necessary steps to coach the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
more than the schooling staffs.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
. In this essay, I shall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
of view by analyzing both sides of the argument.

On the one hand, critics may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
out that one of the most significant benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
and mold the offspring in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
shape with safe to the home and the society.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should shine in the behavior with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
attitudes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it could be possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
grew up them
Consider replacing "in a splendid way" with the adverb for "splendid"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a splendid way
.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
these arguments, giving and focusing more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
rather
than parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences in various ways.
Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
would always concentrate on academic
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
portions and
they printed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less on moral character.
Secondly
, they could not monitor all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at a same time.

Lastly
, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
to guide them a right path.

Taking these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
points
into consideration, from a personal perspective, without a shadow of a doubt, I conclude that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
bodies could more conscience on parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
would create a society with great concern of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in a better future for themselves
as well
as the society.
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IELTS essay Parents have a greater influence on their children s future success than schools do Governments should therefore provide parenting training courses rather than teacher training courses Do you agree with this idea

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
251 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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