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Music has accompanied humans for centuries. Not only is it a powerful tool of expression, but also it can convey certain ideas and feelings that unite people. Despite the fact that nowadays traditional music is often underestimated, I am of the opinion that both, international and traditional music should be appreciated equally.

Music has accompanied humans for centuries. Not only is it a powerful tool of expression, but also it can convey certain ideas and feelings that unite people. Despite the fact that nowadays traditional music is often underestimated, I am of the opinion that both, international and traditional music should be appreciated equally. g5A87
Music has accompanied humans for centuries. Not only is it a powerful tool of expression, but also it can convey certain ideas and feelings that unite people.  Despite the fact that nowadays traditional music is often underestimated,  I am of the opinion that both, international and traditional music should be appreciated equally. Undeniably,  music is not merely a combination of sounds and rhythms that entertain.  Like any other form of art,  it conveys meaning, inspires, evokes emotions and tells stories. Some songs may have revolutionary,   society-shaping effect.  Indeed,  the transformative power of music has long been recognised and widely used by such musicians as Oliver Mtukudzi, whose songs help raise awareness about HIV in his home country Zimbabwe, or Miriam Makeba who uses her words and music to expose the ills of the society and to initiate change in Africa.  Therefore, the function of music can be concluded to evoke emotions, to bring people together and to pass a powerful message. Current generation has a wealth of musical options to explore,  yet it is international music that dominates the world and is frequently favoured over traditional one.  However,  I am inclined to believe that both types of music are equally valuable as they serve different purposes.  International music sets common trends and eliminates boundaries between countries building one global society with shared interests and views.  At the same time,  traditional music preserves cultural identity and heritage of a nation, helping to forge a link with previous generations.  That is why it is crucial to fully appreciate both types of music and give them an equal recognition they deserve. In conclusion,  music is an essential part of human existence as it conveys certain feelings and arouses particular emotions about the past.  Doubtless, both traditional and international music ought to be valued equally as they enrich people’s lives from different sides.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
has accompanied humans for centuries. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
is it a powerful tool of expression,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it can convey certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and feelings that unite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.  Despite the fact that nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
underestimated,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
I am of the opinion that both,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
should
be appreciated
equally
.

Undeniably
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
 music
is not
merely
a combination of sounds and rhythms that entertain.  Like any other form of art,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
it conveys meaning, inspires, evokes emotions and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tells
stories.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
songs may have revolutionary,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
society-shaping effect.  
Indeed
,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
the transformative power of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has long been
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised
and
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by such musicians as Oliver
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mtukudzi
, whose songs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
raise awareness about HIV in his home country Zimbabwe, or Miriam
Possible spelling mistake found.
Makeba
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
her words and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
to expose the ills of the society and to initiate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in Africa.  
Therefore
, the function of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can
be concluded
to evoke emotions, to bring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
together and to pass a powerful message.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Current
generation has a wealth of musical options to explore,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
yet
it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
that dominates the world and is
frequently
Possible spelling mistake. 'favoured' is British English.
favoured
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
one.  
However
,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
I
am inclined
to believe that both types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
are
equally
valuable as they serve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
purposes.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
 International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
sets common trends and eliminates boundaries between countries building one global society with shared interests and views.  At the same time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
 traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
preserves cultural identity and heritage of a nation, helping to forge a link with previous generations.  
That is
why it is crucial to
fully
appreciate both types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and give them an equal recognition they deserve.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
 music
is an essential part of human existence as it conveys certain feelings and arouses particular emotions about the past.  Doubtless, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
ought to
be valued
Use either "equally" or "as" on its own. When comparing two nouns, use "just as".
equally as
they enrich
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sides.
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IELTS essay Music has accompanied humans for centuries. Not only is it a powerful tool of expression, but also it can convey certain ideas and feelings that unite people. Despite the fact that nowadays traditional music is often underestimated, I am of the opinion that both, international and traditional music should be appreciated equally.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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