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Most people agree that money cannot be happiness.

Most people agree that money cannot be happiness. 8g99w
Happiness has various definitions so it is difficult to choose a particular definition of happiness. For some people, money is an important source to be happy because it can pay for everything. However, numerous people believe that not only money can bring happiness, but there are also many other factors that can affect a person’s happiness. In this essay, I will write about the difficulty when defining happiness and ways to achieve it. Happiness is not a thing that can be gauged by eyes or hands, it is a feeling of blissfulness when people achieve or have done something they want. For example, when a student studies hard and has a great result as they expect, they will feel cheerful. When people already have something that can make them happy before, however, they will be bored with it and try to find new things that can make them happy. Age also pertains to defining happiness too, for example, playing games can satisfy a kid but an adult cannot, they feel happy when they have a rest after working hard. That is why happiness is hard to define. With the development era nowadays, money is an essential factor to bring happiness, people can buy everything with money if they want. Many people work hard to earn money to have a better life and gain happiness from money. However, it is not really bringing happiness back. Some studies point out that although have lots of salary, many rich people still cannot find happiness. People tend to be contented when they are satisfied with their current life or their situation. Having a good family can also make a person feel happy. For instance, after a day in the office or factory, they can reduce stress when they come home and have care from their children and wife or husband. In conclusion, happiness has various ways to define so it is hard to define. People can gain happiness from their satisfaction in their life or from family.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Happiness
has various definitions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is difficult to choose a particular definition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
source to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can pay for everything.
However
, numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other factors that can affect a person’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
. In this essay, I will write about the difficulty when defining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
and ways to achieve it.

Happiness is not a thing that can
be gauged
by eyes or hands, it is a feeling of blissfulness when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
achieve or have done something they want.
For example
, when a student studies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
and has a great result as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
, they will feel cheerful. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
already have something that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
,
however
, they will
be bored
with it and try to find new things that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
. Age
also
pertains to defining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
too,
for example
, playing games can satisfy a kid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
an adult cannot, they feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
when they have a rest after working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
.
That is
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
to define.

With the development era nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is an essential factor to bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
everything with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
if they want.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
to earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to have a better life and gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
However
, it is not
really
bringing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
back.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
studies point out that although have lots of salary,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
cannot find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
tend to
be contented
when they
are satisfied
with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
life or their situation. Having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
family can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a person feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
.
For instance
, after a day in the office or factory, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
home and have care from their children and wife or husband.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
has various ways to define
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
to define.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
from their satisfaction in their life or from family.
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IELTS essay Most people agree that money cannot be happiness.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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