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Do you agree or disagree with the statement: Many people think that athletes or celebrities that are from the entertainment business can change their careers to be politicians. Do you agree or disagree with this idea of profession change?

: Many people think that athletes or celebrities that are from the entertainment business can change their careers to be politicians. with this idea of profession change? 562Pe
In contemporary society, much ink has been spilled about professional change, and some claims that athletes and celebrities that are from the entertainment business can change their careers to be politicians. Such assertion, however, is torn to pieces by others. As far as I am concerned, the statement that people with no previous political background could change their professional career to politicians is arbitrary and one-sided because it fails to take all the related circumstances into consideration. We should analyze this statement comprehensively before we draw the eventual conclusion. To begin with, athletes and celebrities are prone to lack higher education. These people usually started their training at a very early age. Their priorities go to the professional training like sport for athletes and acting for celebrities. Not so much time is left to study. Few of them have been to college. Politicians nowadays are well-educated. The education background on their resume is fascination. For example, the previous secretary of state, Hillary, graduated from Yale, majoring in law. People tend to believe those politicians with fancy education background are able to give them a direction with bright future. When it comes to vote, people is more likely to vote for the educated candidates rather than athletes and celebrities. Second, athletes and celebrities are not able to make the decision that will benefit the whole country. Athletes and celebrities are not able to see the big picture because of the limitation of their background, so they probably cannot figure out a way that is inclusive and beneficial. For example, some celebrities deliberately create attractive news to help them remain popular, regardless of the impact the news will have on the society. Politicians are supposed to be the role model of the people so that people are willing to be represented by politicians. Admittedly, athletes and celebrities have more exposure under the spot. They have a lot more attention than the politicians. Their fans commit to follow them forever. However, it is a different story when it comes to politics, as a tiny little change of political policies affect people’s daily life significantly. Popularity doesn’t assure people will support athletes and celebrities as politicians. If they cannot prove their capability to lead people, no one will back them up regarding important decisions. In brief, based on the previous discussion, the issue whether athletes and celebrities could become politicians or not is complex and needs a case by case analysis. We are not supposed to disregards those situations where the statement is unjustifiable. As a result, I can not totally agree with this statement.
In contemporary society, much ink has
been spilled
about professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
claims that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
that are from the entertainment business can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
their careers to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
. Such assertion,
however
,
is torn
to pieces by others. As far as I
am concerned
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
statement
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with no previous political
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
background
could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
their professional career to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
is arbitrary and one-sided
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it fails to take all the related circumstances into consideration. We should analyze this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
statement
comprehensively
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
we draw the eventual conclusion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are prone to lack higher education. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
their training at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
early age. Their priorities go to the professional training like sport for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
and acting for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
. Not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much time is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
to study. Few of them have been to college.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Politicians
nowadays are well-educated. The education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
background
on their resume is fascination.
For example
, the previous secretary of state, Hillary, graduated from Yale, majoring in law.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
tend to believe those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
with fancy education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
background
are able to give them a direction with bright future. When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to vote,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
more likely to vote for the educated candidates
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
and celebrities.

Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the decision that will benefit the whole country.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Athletes
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
picture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the limitation of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
background
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
probably
cannot figure out a way
that is
inclusive and beneficial.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
deliberately
create attractive news to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them remain popular, regardless of the impact the news will have on the society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Politicians
are supposed
to be the role model of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are willing to
be represented
by politicians.

Admittedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
have more exposure under the spot. They have a lot more attention than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
. Their fans commit to follow them forever.
However
, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
story when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to politics, as a tiny
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
of political policies affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
daily life
significantly
. Popularity doesn’t assure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
. If they cannot prove their capability to lead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, no one will back them up regarding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
decisions.

In brief
, based on the previous discussion, the issue whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
could become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
or not is complex and needs a case by case analysis. We are not supposed to disregards those situations where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
statement
is unjustifiable.
As a result
, I can not
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
statement
.
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IELTS essay : Many people think that athletes or celebrities that are from the entertainment business can change their careers to be politicians. with this idea of profession change?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
431 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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