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is hard work or luck the main reason for success what do you think

is hard work or luck the main reason for success what do you think wBXmr
Success is the endeavor of all humans. So, it remains controversial what is the reason behind it. People are divided in two teams, one believes that hard work is the solely way to be successful; the other thinks it comes down to good luck. Personally, I am sided with the group that views hard work is essential to achieve any success. I have a couple of justifications upon which I build my persuasion on this and I will be elaborating on hereafter. Basically, any accomplishment has pillars which it is built on. Those pillars are the prerequisites that must be provided to reach out any set out goal. A prime example on this is me having aced up my IELTS over all score band. In order to do so, I have exerted painstaking effort to enhance all my English language skills. I have had countless voice calls via my Facebook messenger and Skype with my native English speaking pals from USA and the like on a daily basis, in addition I have watched the CNN almost all the time I am home. As such my spoken English has exponentially improved. Moreover, I have read English magazines and news papers online like The Economist and The Wall Street Jurnal, as well as I have emulated the writing style of their professional essayists. Thence, both my reading and writing skills have been enhanced. This true to life example shows that the without taking action, aspirations will not be obtained. What is more, slacking off for the sake of just awaiting for good fortune is counterproductive. Steps that must be crossed to found the basis on which achievement is brought about will not be taken. Hence, Ambitions will not see the light. This is historically materialized in the dark ages Europe had gotten through as a result of not working for civilization and sophistication. The medieval church which theocratically ruled Europe then had banned education in science and literature; just mislead people claiming that they should be just reliant on God's blessings and luck. Therefore, the then Europeans had been uneducated and not being able to stablish any advancement let alone civilization. Thus, depending merely on wishful thinking restrains people from reaching out what they endeavors. In conclusion, setting back doing nothing but daydreaming does not get one anywhere but failure to get what they long to. So, being positive and fulfilling what is required is of essence to convert dreams to reality.
Success is the endeavor of all humans.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it remains controversial what is the reason behind it.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are divided
in two teams, one believes that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work is the
solely
way to be successful; the other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
down to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
luck.
Personally
, I
am sided
with the group that views
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work is essential to achieve any success. I have a couple of justifications upon which I build my persuasion on this and I will be elaborating on hereafter.

Basically
, any accomplishment has pillars which it
is built
on. Those pillars are the prerequisites that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be provided
to reach out any set out goal. A prime example on this is me having aced up my IELTS over all score band. In order to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, I have exerted painstaking effort to enhance all my English language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. I have had countless voice calls via my
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Facebook messenger
and Skype with my native
Did you mean the adjective "English-speaking"?
English speaking
pals
A determiner is probably missing here: "from the USA".
from USA
and the like on a daily basis,
in addition
I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
the CNN almost all the time I am home.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
such my spoken English has
exponentially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
.
Moreover
, I have read English magazines and
This word is normally spelled as one.
news papers
online like The Economist and The Wall Street
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jurnal
,
as well
as I have emulated the writing style of their professional essayists. Thence, both my reading and writing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
have
been enhanced
. This true to life example
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the without taking action, aspirations will not
be obtained
.

What is more
, slacking off for the sake of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
Did you mean "awaiting" or "waiting for"?
awaiting for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
fortune is counterproductive. Steps that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be crossed
to found the basis on which achievement
is brought
about will not
be taken
.
Hence
, Ambitions will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the light. This is
historically
materialized in the dark ages Europe had gotten through
as a result
of not working for civilization and sophistication. The medieval church which
Possible spelling mistake found.
theocratically
ruled Europe then had banned education in science and literature;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
mislead
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claiming that they should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
reliant on God's blessings and luck.
Therefore
, the then Europeans had
been uneducated
and not being able to
Possible spelling mistake found.
stablish
any advancement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
alone civilization.
Thus
, depending
merely
on wishful thinking restrains
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from reaching out what they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "endeavor"
endeavors
.

In conclusion
, setting back doing nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
daydreaming does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
one anywhere
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
failure to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
what they long to.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and fulfilling what
is required
is of essence to convert dreams to reality.
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IELTS essay is hard work or luck the main reason for success what do you think

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
410 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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