Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Claitown University needs both affordable housing for its students and a way to fund the building of such housing. The best solution to this problem is to commission a famous architect known for experimental and futuristic buildings. It is common knowledg

Claitown University needs both affordable housing for its students and a way to fund the building of such housing. The best solution to this problem is to commission a famous architect known for experimental and futuristic buildings. It is common knowledg E3qrR
This argument is about hiring a famous architect to build a cost effective building to house the students of Claitown University. However, it seems from the author's statement that the University does not have enough funds to construct this kind of building. The author's line of thought is not very convincing. He has not been able to give logics for his reasons. He should have gone in details of the cost of the new building and other costs and the source of this money. This argument has many loopholes as the author is talking on the basis of his assumptions. First of all, he is talking about commissioning a famous architect, who might charge a heavy amount for his work. It will add a heavy burden on the University's budget. The author has simply skipped this line of reasoning. He has not included this expenditure in the cost. The author is assuming that all the expenditure related to the building will be taken care of by the funds coming from the students' fee, donations coming from the alumni and the amount paid by tourists to visit the new building. However, all these are just assumptions. The author has not considered the possibility that the tourists might not be interested in visiting a building that is meant for students' housing. Once the students start using the building, tourists will not be attracted towards the building or they might be happy by watching it from outside only. That way there will not be any income from the tourists. Hence, the argument's claim fails to prove that a famous architect's work will generate income for the balancing of costs. The author has not even explained the source of money to construct the building. The building will receive the funds from students in the form of fee and other funds only when the building will be in use. Hence, this argument holds base only if the architect agrees to take his payment later on and the supplier also supplies the construction material without taking any advance. Further, the author has talked about attracting new students and the old students who can make donations. However, he has not provided any evidence to support his views neither he has given any example of some other university. It might be possible that the old alumni are more attached to the existing building. Therefore, one cannot accept this conclusion without any proof. In short, we can say that the author could not support his argument. He has not supplied any evidence to prove his point. He should have studied similar cases of other college buildings that were designed by famous architects and tourists are interested in visiting and paying to watch them. The author should also have emphasized on the detailed explanation of the financial aspects of the building project. A survey of old students and alumni also would have been a good idea as then we will know how interested students are to make donations.
This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
is about hiring a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
architect
to build a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Claitown
University.
However
, it seems from the author's statement that the University does not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
funds to construct this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
. The author's line of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convincing. He has not been able to give logics for his reasons. He should have gone in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
of the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
and the source of this money.

This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
loopholes as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
is talking on the basis of his assumptions.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, he is talking about commissioning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
architect
, who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
charge a heavy amount for his work. It will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
a heavy burden on the University's budget. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
has
simply
skipped this line of reasoning. He has not included this expenditure in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
is assuming that all the expenditure related to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
will
be taken
care of by the funds coming from the students' fee, donations coming from the alumni and the amount paid by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
to visit the new building.

However
, all these are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
assumptions. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
has not considered the possibility that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not
be interested
in visiting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
that
is meant
for students' housing. Once the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
will not
be attracted
towards the
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
building or
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be happy by watching it from outside
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. That way there will not be any income from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
.
Hence
, the argument's claim fails to prove that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
architect's work will generate income for the balancing of costs.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
has not even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
the source of money to construct the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
will receive the funds from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in the form of fee and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
funds
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
will be in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
Hence
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
holds base
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
architect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
to take his payment later on and the supplier
also
supplies the construction material without taking any advance.

Further
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
has talked about attracting new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
donations.
However
, he has not provided any evidence to support his views neither he has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
any example of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
university. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be possible that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
alumni are more attached to the existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
.
Therefore
, one cannot accept this conclusion without any proof.

In short, we can say that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
could not support his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
. He has not supplied any evidence to prove his point. He should have studied similar cases of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
that
were designed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
architects
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
are interested
in visiting and paying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
them. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
should
also
have emphasized on the detailed explanation of the financial aspects of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
project. A survey of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and alumni
also
would have been a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
as then we will know how interested
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
donations.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Claitown University needs both affordable housing for its students and a way to fund the building of such housing. The best solution to this problem is to commission a famous architect known for experimental and futuristic buildings. It is common knowledg

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
498 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Claitown University needs both affordable housing for its students and a way to fund the building of such housing. The best solution to this problem is to commission a famous architect known for experimental and futuristic buildings. It is common knowledg