Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Children over the age of 15 should be allowed to vote.

Children over the age of 15 should be allowed to vote. QLMR1
Elections are an essential part of any democratic society and vote is a right that all citizens must have. Some people believe that all citizens above fifteen years old should be allowed to vote to ensure that more points of view are heard in a democracy. However, I personally believe that children of such young age should not vote. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay. To begin with, most teenagers are still not matured enough in order to make responsible decisions that can have an important impact on a country. Young teens are still developing their minds and are not fully capable of making wise choices on their own. Teens can be easily influenced by their peers at school. For instance, they might not choose wisely and vote for the candidate that most of their friends agree with or prefer a candidate only for frivoulous purposes like decreasing the legal drinking age or shortening the annual school time. When I was in high school, some of my friends wanted some candidate to be elected for congress only because of its good looks, regardless of whether or not it has useful proposals. Furthermore, they would only base their opinions on information that they found on social media, where sources are not always legitimate. Sometimes young people do not take things seriously enough to make such important political decisions. Secondly, young people are still greatly influenced by the opinions of their parents. Given that teens have not gained financial independance yet, their parents might force them vote for the candidate they prefer with the argument that parents know what its best for them. For example, a parent might just force their kid to vote for the candidate that the he/she likes, regardless of their kid´s opinion on that matter. If teenagers just follow their parents desires then they will not be encouraged to think on their own and make rational and conscious decisions for themselves. In conclusion, I strongly believe that teenagers should not be allowed to vote yet mainly because they are not matured enough to make conscious decisions on their own and not to be easily influenced by those around them like their families or friends.
Elections are an essential part of any democratic society and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vote
is a right that all citizens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that all citizens above fifteen years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vote
to ensure that more points of view
are heard
in a democracy.
However
, I
personally
believe that children of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
age should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vote
. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are
still
not matured
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
responsible decisions that can have an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
impact on a country.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
teens are
still
developing their minds and are not
fully
capable of making wise choices on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. Teens can be
easily
influenced by their peers at school.
For instance
, they might not choose
wisely
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vote
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidate
that most of their friends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with or prefer a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
frivoulous
purposes like decreasing the legal drinking age or shortening the annual school time. When I was in high school,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of my friends wanted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidate
to
be elected
for congress
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
looks, regardless of
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
it has useful proposals.
Furthermore
, they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
base their opinions on information that they found on social media, where sources are not always legitimate.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not take things
seriously
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
such
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
political decisions.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
still
greatly
influenced by the opinions of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
that teens have not gained financial
Possible spelling mistake found.
independance
yet
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
might force them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vote
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidate
they prefer with the argument that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
know what its best for them.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
might
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
force their kid to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vote
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidate
that
Possible typo. Did you mean "the" or "he"?
the he
/she likes, regardless of their
The character between 'kid' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "kid’s" (curly apostrophe) or "kid's" (straight apostrophe).
kid´s
opinion on that matter. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
follow their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
desires then they will not
be encouraged
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
rational and conscious decisions for themselves.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
should not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vote
yet
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are not matured
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
conscious decisions on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
and not to be
easily
influenced by those around them like their families or friends.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Children over the age of 15 should be allowed to vote.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
375 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Children over the age of 15 should be allowed to vote.