Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Argument: more and Yong people use the internet to socialise . Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

A number of people argue that today's young people use internet for socialise which has harmful for them. However, in this essay I will address a number of problems which cause of socialise. First and foremost, nowadays young people use internet frequently and they interact with various people. In this modern world different kind of social apps have become common in people life and they utilise without know consequences. Such as young people use Facebook, twitter etc. Thus, they communicate with strangers sometimes they get involve in cyber crimes because there are lots of predators who try to track young people in evils things. In such way, many young people do commit of suicide.  In addition, when Yong people spend most of their time on socialise then they not give proper attention to their studies therefore this kind of habits isn't good for young people develop. Apart from that, through socialise many young girls started to involve in love with strangers and started to believe them and sometimes they send their such pictures which destroy their lives completely. Thus, they get deceive from them and when they not tolerate such things then they get victim of depression. From my perspective, socialising is put bad impact on young people life especially when they use this thing in bad way. I believe if parents supervise their children activities then they not mislead. To sum up, it's undoubtedly true socialising has more and more drawbacks then merits. The main thing is this a waste of time when young people send precious time on socialise.
A number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
internet for socialise which has harmful for them.
However
, in this essay I will address a number of problems which cause of socialise.

First
and foremost, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
internet
frequently
and they interact with various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In this modern world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kind of social apps have become common in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
life and they utilise without know consequences. Such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Facebook, twitter etc.
Thus
, they communicate with strangers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involve in cyber crimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are lots of predators who try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in evils things. In such way,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do commit of suicide.  
In addition
, when Yong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend most of their time on socialise then they not give proper attention to their studies
therefore
this kind of habits isn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
develop.

Apart from that, through socialise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
girls
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to involve in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
with strangers and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to believe them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their such pictures which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
completely.
Thus
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
deceive from them and when they not tolerate such things then they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
victim of depression.

From my perspective, socialising
is put
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
life
especially
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this thing in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
way. I believe if parents supervise their children activities then they not mislead.

To sum up, it's
undoubtedly
true socialising has more and more drawbacks then merits. The main thing is this a waste of time when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
precious time on socialise.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Argument: more and Yong people use the internet to socialise. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
260 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts