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The table below shows the percentage of the people who travelled by bus in the UK from 2009 to 2011

The table below shows the percentage of the people who travelled by bus in the UK from 2009 to 2011 dKaE
The given table illustrates the percentage of people who used bus during his travelling between the years 2009 to 2011 in the UK. Overall, the highest percentage of people travelled by bus for shopping purpose where as least percent of people favoured bus for reached their work in the UK in given three years. Firstly, In the year 2009, 65% people travelled by bus for shopping, which is decreased and reached at 51% in the year 2011. Almost same percentage (9%) of people used bus for study purpose in the year 2010 and 2011. However in the 2009 only 4% people preferred bus for study. When we talk about work, percentage of people who used bus for work was constantly decreased and accounted 0% by the end of 2011. In the year 2009 and 2010 same percentage of people travelled by bus for visiting friends, it was about 19% in both years. In 2009 travelled by bus fore day tour was not preferable, it made only 7% but it was increased slightly and accounted 12% in next two years.
The
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given
table illustrates the
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percentage
of
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people
who
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used
bus during his travelling between the years 2009 to 2011 in the UK.

Overall
, the highest
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percentage
of
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people
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travelled
by bus for shopping purpose
Did you mean "whereas"?
where as
least percent of
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people
Possible spelling mistake. 'favoured' is British English.
favoured
bus for reached their work in the UK in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
three years.

Firstly
, In the
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year
2009, 65%
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people
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travelled
by bus for shopping, which
is decreased
and reached at 51% in the
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year
2011. Almost same
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percentage
(9%) of
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
bus for study purpose in the
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year
2010 and 2011.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
in the 2009
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
4%
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people
preferred bus for study.

When we talk about work,
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percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
bus for work was
constantly
decreased and accounted 0% by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of 2011. In the
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year
2009 and 2010 same
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percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelled
by bus for visiting friends, it was about 19% in both years.

In 2009
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelled
by bus fore day tour was not preferable, it made
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
7%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
was increased
slightly
and accounted 12% in
next
two years.

IELTS academic The table below shows the percentage of the people who travelled by bus in the UK from 2009 to 2011

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
179 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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