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the pie chart average hoiushold

the pie chart average hoiushold rGM5L
The two pie charts give information about household expenditure on goods and services in 1950 and 2010. It is immediately obvious that there are some quite significant differences between the two charts. To begin, In 2010 the largest proportion of expenditure was on food whereas in 1950 it was on housing, with food for just 11. 2%. There is a great difference in terms of housing expenditure between the two years. In 1950 72. 1% of the total household budget went towards housing, compared to only 22% in 2010. There has been a notable increase in the amount of money spent on transportation between the two dates. In addition, the charts show a significant rise in the proportion of money spent on health care in 2010 compared to 1950. There are some similarities, however. For example, in both 1950 and 2010 the proportion of education expenditure was roughly the same.
The two pie charts give information about household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expenditure
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services in 1950 and 2010. It is immediately obvious that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
quite significant differences between the two charts.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, In 2010 the largest proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expenditure
was on food whereas in 1950 it was on housing, with food for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
11. 2%. There is a great difference in terms of housing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expenditure
between the two years. In 1950 72. 1% of the total household budget went towards housing, compared to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
22% in 2010.

There has been a notable increase in the amount of money spent on transportation between the two dates.
In addition
, the charts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a significant rise in the proportion of money spent on health care in 2010 compared to 1950.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
similarities,
however
.
For example
, in both 1950 and 2010 the proportion of education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expenditure
was roughly the same.
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IELTS academic the pie chart average hoiushold

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
150 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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