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The graphs below show information about electronic games in South Korea in 2006

The graphs below show information about electronic games in South Korea in 2006 XnxLA

The pie charts below illustrate some common data about electronic games players' age, gender and some kinds of best-selling games in South Korea through the year 2003. Looking at the detail, nearly half of all Korean gamers were around 20 to 29 years old. However, the percentages of under 12 years old electronic game plays were also noticeable high with 10%. The last age group was over 35 years old, which just accounted for 15% (10%male and 5%female) of players. The proportions of male gamers were significantly outnumbered compared with the other gender (35% and 10% respectively ). 13-19 age group being the second hight, on the whole, they contribute nearly 25%. According to the second graph, a considerable amounts of South Korean game players enjoyed playing role-play games (48%). The second most noticeable was the percentages of action game players which reached 20%. The strategy/turn games were the third best-selling game type in Korea which accounted for 15%. Simulation game was the second least game it contributed nearly 10%. The amount of other unmentioned games were the least. Overall, it is vivid that boys were more interested in South Korean electronic games compared to girls.

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 accounted for 15% (10%male and 5%female) of players. The proportions of male gamers were significantly
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According to the second graph, a considerable Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "amount"?amount
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 of South Korean game players enjoyed playing role-play You use this word too often, consider replacing it withplaysportbusiness
games
 (48%). The second most noticeable was the percentages of action game players which reached 20%. The strategy/turn You use this word too often, consider replacing it withplaysportbusiness
games
 were the third best-selling game type in Korea which accounted for 15%. Simulation game was the second least game it contributed nearly
 10%. The amount of other unmentioned You use this word too often, consider replacing it withplaysportbusiness
games
 were the least.

Overall
, it is vivid that boys were more interested in South Korean electronic You use this word too often, consider replacing it withplaysportbusiness
games
 compared to girls. 

IELTS academic The graphs below show information about electronic games in South Korea in 2006

Academic

American English

4 paragraphs

196 words

6.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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One main idea per paragraph
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Include an introduction and conclusion
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Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 5.5

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 5.0

Answer all parts of the question
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Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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