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the diagrams below show the riverpark area of 20 years ago and the riverpark area now

the diagrams below show the riverpark area of 20 years ago and the riverpark area now 2b9ok
The map illustrate the number of development taking place in a riverpark area between 20 years ago and present day. To begin with, there was curved estuary road to the north, which can merge sea and river. On the south of an estuaru road there were petrol station, library and doctor's surgery located and surrounding this a u-shaped sun road was there. Further more, on the east side of the estuary road there was a collage. On the opposite websites factory and shops were also there. On the both right and left sides of Sun Road a small Woodland where there. However, at present day on sea side a Marine developed. The petrol station and factory now converted into post office and supermarket respectively. The president road also built in supermarket area on son road. At present day college is expanded and shops double than previous and also a bird house established on side of Woodland. Moreover the railway station bhid on left of sunset street. Overall, it is clear that the most noticeable change that occurred in riverpark area which is marina and railway station. In addition, the library and doctor's surgery witness no changes in their position.
The map
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "illustrates".
illustrate
the number of development taking place in a
Possible spelling mistake found.
riverpark
area between 20 years ago and present day.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there
was curved
estuary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
to the north, which can merge sea and river. On the south of an
Possible spelling mistake found.
estuaru
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
there were petrol
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
station
, library and doctor's surgery located and surrounding this
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
u-shaped sun
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
was there.
Further
more, on the east side of the estuary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
there was a collage. On the opposite websites factory and shops were
also
there. On the both right and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sides
of Sun
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Road
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
Woodland where there.

However
, at present day on sea side a Marine developed. The petrol
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
station
and factory
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
converted into post office and supermarket
respectively
. The president
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
also
built in supermarket area on son
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
. At present day college
is expanded
and shops double than previous and
also
a bird
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
established on side of Woodland.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
the railway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
station
Possible spelling mistake found.
bhid
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
of sunset street.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the most noticeable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
that occurred in
Possible spelling mistake found.
riverpark
area which is marina and railway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
station
.
In addition
, the library and doctor's surgery witness no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in their position.
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IELTS academic the diagrams below show the riverpark area of 20 years ago and the riverpark area now

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
199 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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