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THE data presented in both bar graphs show the percentage of the population who owns computer.While the first one depicts numbers from the year 2002 to 2010, the second scenario compares ownership of computers in 2002 and 2010, based on the qualification of individuals.

THE data presented in both bar graphs show the percentage of the population who owns computer. While the first one depicts numbers from the year 2002 to 2010, the second scenario compares ownership of computers in 2002 and 2010, based on the qualification of individuals. yRxAD
THE data presented in both bar graphs show the percentage of the population who owns computer. While the first one depicts numbers from the year 2002 to 2010, the second scenario compares ownership of computers in 2002 and 2010, based on the qualification of individuals. Overall, in the first case consumers rose steadily throughout eight years and as per the second picture, 2010 had the exceeding amount of owners At first glance, the first graph shows a gradual expansion of data, the percentages slightly grow every year. in the year, more than half population kept computers, which further rose to exactly 60%. In 2010, the total ratio summed up to approximately 63%. Referring to the next record, Seniors figured as primary holders of computers than their juniors. in addition, 2010 year was the year of improvement. Those who were graduates from high School, recorded as 30% of computers owners, before increasing to the value of 60 percent in the lateral year. As well as, college students and who graduated from college had more computers in last year than a formal year. postgraduates stood as foremost users of computers, numbered as, markedly more than 60%. in 2002 and slight over 80% during 2010.
THE data presented in both bar graphs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the percentage of the population who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owns
computer. While the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
one depicts numbers from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2002 to 2010, the second scenario compares ownership of computers in 2002 and 2010, based on the qualification of individuals.

Overall
, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
case consumers rose
steadily
throughout eight years and as per the second picture, 2010 had the exceeding amount of owners

At
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
glance, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a gradual expansion of data, the percentages
slightly
grow every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, more than half population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
computers, which
further
rose to exactly 60%. In 2010, the total ratio summed up to approximately 63%.

Referring to the
next
record, Seniors figured as primary holders of computers than their juniors.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
addition, 2010
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
was the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
of improvement. Those who were graduates from high School, recorded as 30% of computers owners,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
increasing to the value of 60 percent in the lateral
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
As well
as, college students and who graduated from college had more computers in last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
than a formal year.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
postgraduates
stood as foremost users of computers, numbered as,
markedly
more than 60%.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
2002 and slight over 80% during 2010.
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IELTS academic THE data presented in both bar graphs show the percentage of the population who owns computer. While the first one depicts numbers from the year 2002 to 2010, the second scenario compares ownership of computers in 2002 and 2010, based on the qualification of individuals.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
202 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • THE data presented in both bar graphs show the percentage of the population who owns computer.While the first one depicts numbers from the year 2002 to 2010, the second scenario compares ownership of computers in 2002 and 2010, based on the qualification of individuals.