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The charts below show the result of a survey about what people of different age groups say makes them most happy.

The charts below show the result of a survey about what people of different age groups say makes them most happy. Yn35
The given two charts provide information about happiness ratio search results between two age groups. The data is shown for people who are below and above 30. Overall, it is clear that successful career is most significant while other factors contributed the last to rates for each age group. It is interesting to mention that young people take more pleasure from having good appearance. However, people over 30 years old take care about their financial security. Starting from achievement at work, which most of questioniers say as the main ingredient of happiness, accounted for 31% and 32% of under-30-year-old and above-30-year-old people’s charts respectively. Hobbies are the second satisfactory part of happiness which make up more than one-fifth of this perception for youngsters and almost one-fourth for the other age group. People under 30 admit that being attractive comprised 18% of the conception. Meanwhile, financial security is one-fifth part of the happiness for the people over 30. Travelling and other factors together make up almost 30% of the happiness in the first age group. In contrast, being with family and other things accounted for 14% and 10% of the happiness for the people above 30.
The
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given
two charts provide information about
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happiness
ratio search results between two
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age
groups. The data
is shown
for
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people
who are below and above 30.

Overall
, it is
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clear
that successful career is most significant while
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other
factors contributed the last to rates for each
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age
group. It is interesting to mention that young
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people
take more pleasure from having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
appearance.
However
,
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people
over 30 years
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old
take care about their financial security.

Starting from achievement at work, which most of
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questioniers
say as the main ingredient of
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happiness
, accounted for 31% and 32% of under-30-year-
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old
and above-30-year-
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old
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people’s
charts
respectively
.

Hobbies are the second satisfactory part of
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happiness
which
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make
up more than one-fifth of this perception for youngsters and almost one-fourth for the
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other
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age
group.
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People
under 30 admit that being attractive comprised 18% of the conception. Meanwhile, financial security is one-fifth part of the
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happiness
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
over 30.

Travelling and
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other
factors together
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make
up almost 30% of the
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happiness
in the
first
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age
group.

In contrast
, being with family and
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other
things accounted for 14% and 10% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
above 30.

IELTS academic The charts below show the result of a survey about what people of different age groups say makes them most happy.

Academic
  American English
6 paragraphs
195 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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