Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The bar chart illustrates the average monthly use of a health club by all full-time members while the pie charts displays its male and female membership owners divided by age groups in Miami over last year.

The bar chart illustrates the average monthly use of a health club by all full-time members while the pie charts displays its male and female membership owners divided by age groups in Miami over last year. e53mp
The bar chart illustrates the average monthly use of a health club by all full-time members while the pie charts displays its male and female membership owners divided by age groups in Miami over last year. Overall, the usage of health club by both sexes saw a steady rise at the start of the period then this trend reversed as it came to the end of summer. Additionally, 21-45 year olds made up the majority of the total member. As seen in from the bar chart, female members’ club usage was recorded at exactly 500 people at the start of the year while this figure for male members was slightly higher, which was approximately 560 people. Subsequently, the number of females who used the health club continued to increase then peaked at around 720 people in September, whereas the number of males experienced a similar movement then it peaked and stabilized at about 840 people 2 months earlier. In contrast, both sexes underwent a decline and ended up with around 510 for females and 610 for males. According to the pie charts, 65+ years olds had a contribution of 32% and 25% for female and male memberships all respectively. However, younger males (55%) participated more than younger females (51%). A similar pattern can be seen for others, 20% for males and 17% for females.
The bar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
illustrates the average monthly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of a health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
by all full-time members while the pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charts
displays its male and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
membership owners divided by age groups in Miami over last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
Overall
, the usage of health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
by both sexes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a steady rise at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of the period then this trend reversed as it came to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of summer.
Additionally
, 21-45
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
olds made up the majority of the total member.

As
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in from the bar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
members’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
usage
was recorded
at exactly 500
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
while this figure for male members was
slightly
higher, which was approximately 560
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Subsequently
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
continued to increase then peaked at around 720
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in September, whereas the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
experienced a similar movement then it peaked and stabilized at about 840
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
2 months earlier.
In contrast
, both sexes underwent a decline and ended up with around 510 for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
and 610 for males.

According to the pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charts
, 65+ years olds had a contribution of 32% and 25% for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
and male memberships all
respectively
.
However
, younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
(55%) participated more than younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
(51%). A similar pattern can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
for others, 20% for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
and 17% for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic The bar chart illustrates the average monthly use of a health club by all full-time members while the pie charts displays its male and female membership owners divided by age groups in Miami over last year.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
224 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • The bar chart illustrates the average monthly use of a health club by all full-time members while the pie charts displays its male and female membership owners divided by age groups in Miami over last year.