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The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010 nKqK
The bar graph illustrate the different age groups who did regular physical activity of Australian men and women in 2010. overall, men do the regular exercise than the women in 2010. Starting with age 15 to 24 and 35to 44 the men and women do the equally physical exercise (52. 8-52. 5)but in age 15 to 24 women do less exercise 47. 7percent and in 35to44 male do regular exercise lowest 39. 5. By looking at the age 45to54 and 55to64 women are doing regular exercise then men 53 percent. Basically, male are doing less regular physical activity. However, in age 25to34 women is doing physical activity 48. 9 more then a men 42. 2. In age 65 and over male and female doing equally physical activity.
The bar graph illustrate the
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different
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age
groups who did
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regular
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physical
activity of Australian
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men
and
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women
in 2010.
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overall
,
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men
do the
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regular
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exercise
than the
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women
in 2010.

Starting with
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age
15 to 24 and 35to 44 the
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men
and
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women
do the
equally
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physical
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exercise
(52. 8-52. 5)
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but
in
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age
15 to 24
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women
do less
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exercise
47. 7percent and in 35to44 male do
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regular
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exercise
lowest 39. 5. By looking at the
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age
45to54 and 55to64
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women
are
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doing
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regular
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exercise
then
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men
53 percent.
Basically
, male are
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doing
less
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regular
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physical
activity.

However
, in
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age
25to34
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women
is
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doing
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physical
activity 48. 9 more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
then
a
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men
42. 2. In
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age
65 and over male and female
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doing
equally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activity.
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IELTS academic The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
127 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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