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Graph showing traffic growth in the Netherlands

Graph showing traffic growth in the Netherlands YQGn
The graph demonstrates traffic growth in the Netherlands from 1950 to 2000 for several vehicles viz. car, train, bicycle, and other public transport. In the first decade, car traffic experienced an impressive increase of 20%, whereas train traffic grew steadily increasing by approximately 8 % by the end of 1965. Car traffic continued to grow showing a dramatic increase between 1965 and 1985; on the other hand, bicycle and train traffic sustained increasing slightly reaching virtually 15% to 18% growth. Other public transport traffic experienced an increase as well but not exceeding 20%. By the end of 2005, car traffic had climbed dramatically leading to a 140% growth in total, while train, bicycle, and other transport traffic increased by 15%, 18%, and 20% respectively in comparison to 1955.
The graph demonstrates
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traffic
growth in the Netherlands from 1950 to 2000 for several
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "vehicles'" or "vehicle's"?
vehicles
viz.
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car
,
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train
, bicycle, and
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other
public transport.

In the
first
decade,
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car
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traffic
experienced an impressive increase of 20%, whereas
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train
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traffic
grew
steadily
increasing by approximately 8 % by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of 1965.
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Car
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traffic
continued to grow showing a dramatic increase between 1965 and 1985; on the
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other
hand, bicycle and
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train
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traffic
sustained increasing
slightly
reaching
virtually
15% to 18% growth.
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Other
public transport
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traffic
experienced an increase
as well
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but
not exceeding 20%. By the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of 2005,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
had climbed
dramatically
leading to a 140% growth in total, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
, bicycle, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
transport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
increased by 15%, 18%, and 20%
respectively
in comparison
to 1955.
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IELTS academic Graph showing traffic growth in the Netherlands

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
128 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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