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description of Bar chart

description of Bar chart 6ab00
The given Bar chart illustrates the number of visitors those visit the four clubs from the month of January to July months. In which X-axis denotes the months whereas Y-axis represents the number of visitors in a range of 20. Visitors of the American Club is remains almost same from January to April months but it increase the most in the month of June. In the month of July it has nearly 85 visitors. Japanese club has lower visitors in all over the months compare to other clubs. It has lowest visitors in the month of January and highest visitors in April for itself. In the case of British Club, it remains constant visitors in all over the months. It is around 60 visitors come to the club. Whereas, in the month of July, has the highest visitors for the French Club which is around 60 to 80 visitors and for rest of the months it remains below 80.
The
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given
Bar chart illustrates the number of
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visitors
those visit the four
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clubs
from the
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month
of January to July
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months
. In which X-axis denotes the
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months
whereas Y-axis represents the number of
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visitors
in a range of
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20. Visitors
of the American
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Club
is remains almost same from January to April
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months
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but
it
Did you mean "increases"?
increase
the most in the
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month
of June. In the
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month
of July it has
nearly
85 visitors.

Japanese
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club
has lower
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visitors
in all over the
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months
compare to other
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clubs
. It has
A determiner is probably missing here: "the lowest".
lowest
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visitors
in the
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month
of January and highest
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visitors
in April for itself.

In the case of British
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Club
, it remains constant
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visitors
in all over the
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months
. It is around 60
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visitors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to the club.

Whereas, in the
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month
of July, has the highest
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visitors
for the French
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Club
which is around 60 to 80
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visitors
and for rest of the
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months
it remains below 80.
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IELTS academic description of Bar chart

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
159 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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