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Computer ownership percentage and level of education year 2002 -2010

Computer ownership percentage and level of education year 2002 -2010 pJKYy
The first image describes the how was grow the computer ownership. That graph shows average into each year grown ten percentage. In 2002 ownership transfer fifty five but in rapidly growing 2004. Then again 2006 it increased more than two percent. However that ownership percentage is good for each year by year. In 2006 it has again grown two percentage. In 2008 count is sixty and 2010 it has again grown sixtyfive. when comparing educational levels after transfer ownership it slightly increased. The graph very clearly shows separate 2002 and 2010 years. No of high school diploma student does not much familiar to use the computer but when come on the high school graduate then after college and bachelor degrees usage percentage average is very good than no high school diploma students. In 2002 and 2010 Postgraduate qualification student they use high number of computers there educational that percentage is nineteen.
The
first
image
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
Did you mean "how"?
the how
was
Consider using a past participle here: "grown".
grow
the computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
. That graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
average into each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
grown ten
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
. In 2002
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
transfer
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
fifty five
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in
rapidly
growing 2004. Then again 2006 it increased more than two percent.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. In
The comma is probably missing here: "2006, it".
2006 it
has again grown two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
. In 2008 count is sixty and 2010 it has again grown
Possible spelling mistake found.
sixtyfive
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
when
comparing educational levels after transfer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
it
slightly
increased. The graph
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
separate 2002 and 2010 years.
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
No
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
school diploma student does not much familiar to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the computer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
school graduate then after college and bachelor degrees usage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
average is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Use "better" to make a comparison with this adjective.
good
than no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
school diploma students. In 2002 and 2010 Postgraduate qualification student they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
number of computers there educational that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
is nineteen.

IELTS academic Computer ownership percentage and level of education year 2002 -2010

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
151 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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