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bar graph comarision of Asia , Europe and United states

bar graph comarision of Asia, Europe and United states gG8kD
Graph shows the different data of Asia, Europe and United States for using different entertainmets means over the five consequtive period. 1995 is significantly at the lowerside than that of 2000, whereas Publishing media was used a lot by most of the people for their entertainmemnt purpose, for all the three major land continents. To start with Television and Publish media, which takes the significant part among the most dominant media mode, Television was fluctuating around the mean postion of 50, for the period of five years from 1995 to 2000. On the relative side Publish keeps the increasing order everytime, but a delivation was reported in last five years, that was 1995 to 2000. Music was also seen as a good choice by the 90's people, but a constant little rise was observed, which was least in 1995 along Asia in contrast with United states. A very little growth was reported among Cinema and videos but can be assumed as a ignorable one. Taking a flash over the money spent, it was least in 1995, 67 hours only and 257 hours in 2000. Overall it was reported that United states was more to entertainment then other country, Asia and Europe was little backfoot to United state.
Graph
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shows
the
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different
data of Asia, Europe and
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United
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States
for using
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different
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entertainmets
means over the five
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consequtive
period. 1995 is
significantly
at the
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lowerside
than that of 2000, whereas Publishing media was
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used
a lot by most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
for their
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entertainmemnt
purpose, for all the three major land continents.

To
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start
with Television and Publish media, which takes the significant part among the most dominant media mode, Television was fluctuating around the mean
Possible spelling mistake found.
postion
of 50, for the period of five years from 1995 to 2000. On the relative side Publish
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
the increasing order
Possible spelling mistake found.
everytime
,
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but
a
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delivation
was reported
in last five years, that was 1995 to 2000.

Music was
also
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seen
as a
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good
choice by the
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "90s".
90's
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people
,
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but
a constant
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little
rise
was observed
, which was least in 1995 along Asia
in contrast
with
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United
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
states
. A
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very
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little
growth
was reported
among Cinema and videos
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but
can
be assumed
as
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
ignorable one.

Taking a flash over the money spent, it was least in 1995, 67 hours
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only
and 257 hours in 2000.
Overall
it
was reported
that
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United
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states
was more to entertainment then other country, Asia and Europe was
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little
Possible spelling mistake found.
backfoot
to
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United
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state
.

IELTS academic bar graph comarision of Asia, Europe and United states

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
207 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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