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Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. 856LV
Many parents support the idea of banning kids from using smartphones during the time they spend at school while some think that children should not be forbidden of doing that. Since this is a debatable question, 2 of these opinions is going to be discussed in this essay and also my own point of view will be provided. First of all, it is worth considering that school students should not feel banned and think that smartphones are subject of ban. They might have stronger desire to use phones being banned than being allowed to use them. This can cause a stress for children so that they would feel limited. However. from another side, children can be easily distracted from their studies and the quality of learning worsen. Moreover, ban of use smartphones could help children not only to stay more focused on their classes at school but also develop their interpersonal skills while communicating with classmates or professors. Nevertheless, some parents want to control their children so that they can reach them at any time by call or messenger. In this case, smartphones are very useful as parents and children stay always connected. To conclude, I would say that learning at school and face to face communication is more important for children than being available online. By accepting the school rule not to use phone children can dedicate themselves to studies staying concentrated and attentive. This may also discourage school students to cheat during tests and exams and they get more fair results. Another thing to take into account is teachers' point of view. Most of them would support the idea of banning phones because they also find uncomfortable when students use their phones at lessons.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
parents support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of banning kids from using smartphones during the time they spend at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should not
be forbidden
of doing that. Since this is a debatable question, 2 of these opinions is going to
be discussed
in this essay and
also
my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
point of view will
be provided
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it is worth considering that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
students should not feel banned and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that smartphones are subject of ban. They might have stronger desire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
being banned
than being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them. This can cause a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they would feel limited.
However
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
from
another side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can be
easily
distracted from their studies and the quality of learning
This verb is used with the infinitive: "to worsen"
worsen
.
Moreover
, ban of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
smartphones could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to stay more focused on their classes at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
develop their interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
while communicating with classmates or professors.

Nevertheless
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parents want to control their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can reach them at any time by call or messenger.
In this case
, smartphones are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful as parents and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
stay always connected.

To conclude
, I would say that learning at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and face to face communication is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
than being available online. By accepting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can dedicate themselves to studies staying concentrated and attentive. This may
also
discourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
students to cheat during
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
and
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
exams and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
results. Another thing to take into account is teachers' point of view. Most of them would support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of banning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
also
find uncomfortable when students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
at lessons.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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