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The graph shows the number of boys and girls playing sport in an English town in 2012.

The graph shows the number of boys and girls playing sport in an English town in 2012. W22q
The bar graph illustrates how many hours children spend on six sports (badminton, tennis, cycling, swimming, hockey, and football) divided by gender in an English town in the year 2012. Overall, boys exceeded the number of girls playing sport. Football and swimming were the most popular sport among boys and girls respectively while hockey was the least popular sport among both genders. Boys outplayed women in 4 out of the six sports activities. Boys preferred football thrice more than the 20 girls who played football. 35 boys immersed themselves in cycling when compared to only 20 girls. With regard to tennis, 50 boys engaged in playing tennis while 35 girls involved themselves in tennis. 14 boys played hockey compared to only 9 girls. More girls played two sports more than boys. Girls (40) played badminton more than boys (30). With regard to swimming, 50 girls preferred swimming when compared to the 40 boys who chose to swim.
The bar graph illustrates how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
hours children spend on six
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sports
(badminton, tennis, cycling, swimming, hockey, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football)
divided by gender in an English town in the year 2012.

Overall
,
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boys
exceeded the number of
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girls
playing
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sport
.
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Football
and swimming were the most popular
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sport
among
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boys
and
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girls
respectively
while hockey was the least popular
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sport
among both genders.

Boys outplayed women in 4 out of the six
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sports
activities.
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Boys
preferred
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football
thrice more than the 20
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girls
who
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played
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football
. 35
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boys
immersed themselves in cycling when compared to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
20
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girls
. With regard to tennis, 50
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boys
engaged in playing tennis while 35
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girls
involved themselves in tennis. 14
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boys
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
played
hockey compared to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
9 girls.

More
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
played
two
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sports
more than
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boys
.
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Girls
(40)
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played
badminton more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
(30). With regard to swimming, 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
preferred swimming when compared to the 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
who chose to swim.
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IELTS academic The graph shows the number of boys and girls playing sport in an English town in 2012.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
157 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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