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Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages? RmpW
There are many debates these days about sharing personal information on social media platforms, some people think that it has risks whereas others believe it is normal and natural. In my opinion, advantages of social media outweigh disadvantages and I will explain them with related examples in my essay. Due to the rapid development of technology and the internet, social media is getting so popular. Almost every person from all age groups has at least one social media account and they use it actively. They share some personal information such as date of birth, home address, phone number and photos or videos about their life and if they do not use a private account every individual can reach these information easily. Therefore, some people believe that it is dangerous and has risks especially if their followers or stalkers are malicious and tend to commit crime. However, even sharing personal information has disadvantages, they may prevent it by using private accounts and there are also many advantages of social media. For example, thanks to Whatsapp people can keep in touch with their relatives and friends in a second even though they have long distance relationships. They can share their daily life, or get more social. Moreover, Instagram is not only for sharing photos but also selling products, many small businesses use Instagram for online sale and they reach more customers. Thanks to that they have a chance to increase their profits and sales. To sum up, as it can be seen from the above examples, advantages of social media outnumber disadvantages. I believe if we use social media properly we can avoid its drawbacks, therefore; we should change the privacy settings.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
debates these days about sharing personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
platforms,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
whereas others believe it is normal and natural. In my opinion, advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
outweigh disadvantages and I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
them with related examples in my essay.

Due to the rapid development of technology and the internet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is getting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
popular. Almost every person from all age groups has at least one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
account and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
actively
. They share
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
such as date of birth, home address, phone number and photos or videos about their life and if they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a private account every individual can reach these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
easily
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
and has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
especially
if their followers or stalkers are malicious and tend to commit crime.

However
, even sharing personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
has disadvantages, they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
it by using private accounts and there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
For example
, thanks to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Whatsapp
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with their relatives and friends in a second
even though
they have long distance relationships. They can share their daily life, or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
.
Moreover
, Instagram is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for sharing photos
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
selling products,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
businesses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Instagram for online
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
sale and
they reach more customers. Thanks to that they have a chance to increase their profits and sales.

To sum up, as it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the above examples, advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
outnumber disadvantages. I believe if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
properly
we can avoid its drawbacks,
therefore
; we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the privacy settings.
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IELTS essay Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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