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Many people want their country to host an international sporting event. Others believe that international sporting events bring more problems than benefits. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.3

Many people want their country to host an international sporting event. Others believe that international sporting events bring more problems than benefits. v. 3
International sports events have become a unifier force in the world in general, and few countries, in particular. Hosting international events has spurred an intense debate among scholars owing to the financial resources required for organizing such events. This essay intends to discuss both views and a logical attempt would be made to reach a logical conclusion. Proponents believe that international events provide an opportunity to instill, intensify and express the feelings of patriotism as citizens will be proud to see their century in news for the entire event. Also, the name of the hosting country would get associated with the event and it will get recorded in the history of forever. Hence, not only during the event, but also for the times to come, these events provide a sense of pride to the citizens, and as a result, love for nation gets a boost. However, opponents to have their valid reasons to refute the above mentioned arguments. Firstly, they believe that basic problems like poverty, illiteracy, unemployment and others need to be addressed to ensure the growth and development of the country. Even more, they consider the life of dignity as the foundation of civic pride. Therefore, they focus on strengthening the measures if capacity building to strengthen the social and economic fabric of the country. As far as my humble opinion is concerned, ensuring fulfilment of basic needs is more important than hosting international events. Alternative methods like multi-country hosting could be considered as it would serve both purposes in a better way.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
International
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
have become a unifier force in the world
in general
, and few countries,
in particular
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
has spurred an intense debate among scholars owing to the financial resources required for organizing such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
. This essay intends to discuss both views and a logical attempt would
be made
to reach a logical conclusion.

Proponents believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
provide an opportunity to instill, intensify and express the feelings of patriotism as citizens will be proud to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their century in news for the entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
.
Also
, the name of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
country would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
associated with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
and it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
recorded in the history of forever.
Hence
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for the times to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
provide a sense of pride to the citizens, and
as a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
for nation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
a boost.

However
, opponents to have their valid reasons to refute the above mentioned arguments.
Firstly
, they believe that basic problems like poverty, illiteracy, unemployment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
need to
be addressed
to ensure the growth and development of the country. Even more, they consider the life of dignity as the foundation of civic pride.
Therefore
, they focus on strengthening the measures if capacity building to strengthen the social and economic fabric of the country.

As far as my humble opinion
is concerned
, ensuring
Possible spelling mistake. 'fulfilment' is British English.
fulfilment
of basic needs is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
. Alternative methods like multi-country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
could
be considered
as it would serve both purposes in a better way.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people want their country to host an international sporting event. Others believe that international sporting events bring more problems than benefits. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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