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Some people say that holding sport competitions can cause problems for the host country. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.3

Some people say that holding sport competitions can cause problems for the host country. Others disagree. v. 3
It is taught by some, that hosting sport competitions such as; the world cup and Olympics can cause issues for the host Country. However, others opine that it is beneficial. I agree with this view. I believe that, hosting will encourage social and economic development. On the one hand, being responsible for a sport tournament could be financially overwhelming. For a country to host, they need to have the right financial ability to build relevant structures and amenities for a tournament. Lack of capacity to fund such project, can lead to financial debts and can affect the country's developmental growth. In addition, during activities such as this, visitors from other countries come to participate, and as a result, they can be infiltration of immigrants unlawfully into the host countries which can be problematic. On the other hand, there are several benefits which people believe comes with hosting tournaments, and I agree, One of which is that; it promotes social and cultural integration. Gatherings like the Olympics, requires that people from all over the Globe participate and in this way, individuals get to meet, and learn different languages and skills from each other. Additionally, with the high influx of visitors, organizations such as hotels and malls can make lots of income from patronised foreigners, therefore contributing to the economical development. What's more is that, competitions like these, compels the authorities to construct structures that will be beneficial to the society in the long run. For example, when my country hosted the World's Tennis Tournament, the government was compelled to build new roads and bridges in towns. This development has been rewarding till date. In conclusion, although some people may have a different assertion on this topic. I believe, and totally agree that countries which host sport competitions are in a position to have more social and economical benefits
It
is taught
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
, that hosting sport competitions such as; the world cup and Olympics can cause issues for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Country
.
However
, others opine that it is beneficial. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view. I believe that, hosting will encourage social and economic development.

On the one hand, being responsible for a sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tournament
could be
financially
overwhelming. For a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
, they need to have the right financial ability to build relevant structures and amenities for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tournament
. Lack of capacity to fund such project, can lead to financial debts and can affect the country's developmental growth.
In addition
, during activities such as this, visitors from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to participate, and
as a result
, they can be infiltration of immigrants
unlawfully
into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which can be problematic.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are several benefits which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with hosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tournaments
, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
, One of which is that; it promotes social and cultural integration. Gatherings like the Olympics, requires that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from all over the Globe participate and in this way, individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
, and learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
languages and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
from each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
Additionally
, with the high influx of visitors, organizations such as hotels and malls can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
lots of income from
Possible spelling mistake. 'patronised' is British English.
patronised
foreigners,
therefore
contributing to the
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
development. What's more is that, competitions like these, compels the authorities to construct structures that will be beneficial to the society in the long run.
For example
, when my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
hosted the World's Tennis
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tournament
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
was compelled
to build new roads and bridges in towns. This development has been rewarding till date.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
assertion on this topic. I believe, and
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
sport competitions are in a position to have more social and
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
benefits
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Some people say that holding sport competitions can cause problems for the host country. Others disagree. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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