Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Nowadays people use social media to keep in touch with others and be aware of the news. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

Nowadays people use social media to keep in touch with others and be aware of the news. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
Accommodation and transport problems are increasing in many large cities. Businesses are encouraged to move to rural areas. Do advantages outweigh disadvantages? The movement of organizations from urban areas to less-developed provinces is a solution to various municipal problems, but we cannot turn a blind eye to the shortcomings of this trend. The essay will clarify both sides of the coin, and demonstrate my view that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. On the one hand, it is absurd to say that an organization can easily move from a major city to the countryside without suffering any losses. A change in terms of position may cost a firm, for example, a reduction in the quality of its workforce. Not every employee is willing to resettle down in a faraway province, and they prefer seeking another career in the metropolis to maintain their current living standards. The enterprise, to handle such risk of brain drain, would have to hire local workers who are normally less competent. The expenses for their prerequisite training courses are significant, but an improvement in their professional performance would still not be guaranteed. On the other hand, I believe that the advantages of this scenario are more important. Firstly, such relocation of organizations can reduce the population density in the urban areas. As a result, the influx of workers traveling in rush hours which causes traffic congestion would disappear. Secondly, the movement of companies’ headquarters makes way for the construction of more residential areas, so the citizens would no longer have to live in narrow houses and apartments anymore. Finally, factories carry along with them modem production lines to the suburban areas, hence the rural population might have access to such cutting-edge technological advancements, which have been by no means close to them ever. In conclusion, I believe that governments should encourage companies to move to rural areas because of the mentioned considerable benefits.
Accommodation and transport problems are increasing in
many
large cities. Businesses
are encouraged
to
move
to rural
areas
. Do advantages outweigh disadvantages?

The movement of organizations from urban
areas
to less-developed provinces is a solution to various municipal problems,
but
we cannot turn a blind eye to the shortcomings of this trend. The essay will clarify both sides of the coin, and demonstrate my view that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.

On the one hand, it is absurd to say that an organization can
easily
move
from a major city to the countryside without suffering any losses. A
change
in terms of position may cost a firm,
for example
, a reduction in the quality of its workforce. Not every employee is willing to resettle down in a faraway province, and they prefer seeking another career in the metropolis to maintain their
current
living standards. The enterprise, to handle such
risk
of brain drain, would
have to
hire local workers who are
normally
less competent. The expenses for their prerequisite training courses are significant,
but
an improvement in their professional performance would
still
not
be guaranteed
.

On the other hand
, I believe that the advantages of this scenario are more
important
.
Firstly
, such relocation of organizations can
reduce
the population density in the urban
areas
.
As a result
, the influx of workers traveling in rush hours which causes traffic congestion would disappear.
Secondly
, the movement of
companies
’ headquarters
makes
way for the construction of more residential
areas
,
so
the citizens would no longer
have to
live
in narrow
houses
and apartments anymore.
Finally
, factories carry along with them modem production lines to the suburban
areas
,
hence
the rural population might have access to such cutting-edge technological advancements, which have been by no means close to them ever.

In conclusion
, I believe that
governments
should encourage
companies
to
move
to rural
areas
because
of the mentioned considerable benefits.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays people use social media to keep in touch with others and be aware of the news. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
316 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts