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In many cities there is a lack of space to develop and as a result, in order to modernize, old buildings are demolished and replaced with new buildings. What are the disadvantages of knocking down old buildings? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

In many cities there is a lack of space to develop and as a result, in order to modernize, old buildings are demolished and replaced with new buildings. What are the disadvantages of knocking down old buildings? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
When it comes to development, a growing number of cities are facing the problem of space constraint and therefore, are modernizing by constructing new buildings in place of old ones. However, there are few disadvantages of removing old complexes such as destroying the history associated with them and negative impact on tourism. Firstly, whenever an old construction is completed demolished, with it demolishes the entire history behind that building. Some of the ancient cities such as Rome and Athens are hugely popular only on account of the medieval architectural marvels they possess. These structures are the cities’ very essence and are, in fact, akin to their heartbeat. If old palaces and churches are destroyed only to replace with modern architecture, the city’s charm is at risk of being lost. Moreover, the history of any country can be understood to a great extent by the kind of architecture it had and the technology used by the people in that era which can be learned through such buildings. Secondly, removing old complexes can also lead to a gradual downfall in tourism. As most of the contemporary cities are developed only in the last century, there are only a handful of cities which still hold age old infrastructures. If these are not preserved, it will definitely have an adverse impact on world tourism. On the other hand, improved safety is the key advantage when we consider modern infrastructure. Many of the old buildings might have been damaged over the period of time and can pose a serious risk to the visitors as well as people living in the vicinity. Replacing them with new ones can help bring in improved safety standards. To conclude, I do not think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. While safety is a very important issue, it can also be achieved by renovating old complexes and not necessarily taking them down completely. This can ensure the heritage is maintained without compromising on safety.
When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to development, a growing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are facing the problem of space constraint and
therefore
, are modernizing by constructing new buildings in place of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
.
However
, there are few disadvantages of removing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
complexes such as destroying the history associated with them and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on tourism.

Firstly
, whenever an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
construction
is completed
demolished, with it demolishes the entire history behind that building.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
such as Rome and Athens are
hugely
popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
on account of the medieval architectural marvels they possess. These structures are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities’
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essence and are, in fact, akin to their heartbeat. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
palaces and churches are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
to replace with modern architecture, the city’s charm is at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
being lost
.
Moreover
, the history of any country can
be understood
to a great extent by the kind of architecture it had and the technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in that era which can
be learned
through such buildings.

Secondly
, removing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
complexes can
also
lead to a gradual downfall in tourism. As most of the contemporary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
in the last century, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
a
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "handfuls", "handsful"?
handful
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
which
still
hold age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
infrastructures. If these are not preserved, it will definitely have an adverse impact on world tourism.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
is the key advantage when we consider modern infrastructure.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
buildings might have
been damaged
over the period of time and can pose a serious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
to the visitors
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living in the vicinity. Replacing them with new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
bring in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
standards.

To conclude
, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issue, it can
also
be achieved
by renovating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
complexes and not
necessarily
taking them down completely. This can ensure the heritage
is maintained
without compromising on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In many cities there is a lack of space to develop and as a result, in order to modernize, old buildings are demolished and replaced with new buildings. What are the disadvantages of knocking down old buildings? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
323 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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